2013年12月19日 星期四

love- perfect but fragile

“It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that's how I feel about relationships. They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs.”


起初我對這段文字毫無頭緒,後來找到一個快狠準的解畫:Egg is your irrational expectation over the crazy relationship. The story is good, and I really love the way Annie and Alvy were still together. Especially the scenes at the beginning that, Annie and Alvy went through their pass relationships and how they laugh at the old memories together(though they actually just happened a few months ago!) I am not acknowledgeable to understand most of his jokes but it doesnt make a problem to go through the whole movie happily and smoothly.

Maybe I am still too young when comparing with Woody Allen, I think my love life ends too soon. I want to try more and more and more and there shouldnt be an end right? What's the point of getting married? Marriage shouldnt be a sign of ‘stop to be curious about other males/females’.(Theres never 100% security and promising in a relationship isnt it?) Or maybe there's shouldnt a thing called marriage, it certainly drives people crazy, as some people expect marriage is a life-time promise AS they clearly understand that, relationship/lovelife wouldnt exist forever and ever. Well maybe this is the 'egg' that Alvy mentioned at the end of the movie.

When I woke up this morning, the last few scenes of the movie suddenly came up to my mind. Annie and Alvy were sitting face to face and talking together inside a restaurant, and they were only friends in that scene. I started to realise everything has gone too fast... my memories flash back and they seems just happened a few weeks ago——the physical time hasn't passed too soon but the distance, the distance......


2013年12月8日 星期日

Fight Club 頓時成為我最喜愛電影之一:電影包含的意志太強大了。

由兩個極端人格分別對社會資本主義和共產主義抗衡。把慣性的自我保護由自毀性的極度痛楚徹底摧毀,讓痛楚喚醒生命本能從而作出本能反擊;從瘋狂的物質生活中抽身,來個破釜沈舟一拍兩散——我愛煞這種極端:要麼完全抽離,要麼完全介入。

NARRATOR的失眠代表了現代人的精神狀態:不喜歡也不會反抗;遇到危險就像受驚的小動物縮在洞穴裡不敢移動;遇上侵略只要生命還保持安全就甘心啞忍。壓抑成為日常生活的課題。

昨天跟一位摯友談了很多。說起 有人說過,人生遇上的每一個人都帶著我們要學習的課題。他問 他教了我甚麼。我想 要等那個人消失了,才會知道。我曾遇過的某幾個人,花了不少時間把我從活潑無憂變成相對地壓抑沈默。消沈時我間中懷念過去的自己,不過當我在生活的群體裡間中會看到那些過去的我時,現在的我會暗地慶幸自己的改變。

有人說過,裝睡的人最難叫醒。我問他 人有了信仰,是否會較踏實——其實我只是在問自己罷了。之前另一位摯友跟我說過,他覺得這個世界不再真實——也許就是再也找不到能相信的理由。最近,我認為造夢的說法最能形容我的狀態:我的感情生活,我的工作,我的習性。我開始習慣愛理不理,我開始對不喜歡的工作麻目,我繼續甚至增加在街上流連遊車河的時間及次數。越壓抑,越討厭自己對自己的不仁。